Would You Take It Up The Butt And Crap On It? LOL

WARNING: If I offend, please remain entertained in the process. Thank you!

What the hell do you do, ladies, when your man asks you to take it up the butt, and the one time you decide to do it, you crap on his "magic stick" a little bit? Do you run out of the room screaming, or do you politely wipe it up, Emily Post polite style, and keep going? In the event his penis has gone completely limp, do you get offended?

Well this happened to a friend of mine. Now, I know a lot of you must be asking yourselves, how can Terry talk about Warren Buffet and Truman Capote in one blog post, then talk about girls taking it up the anus on another? This is because I damn well can and I enjoy watching people squirm with uncomfortable disgust as well as smile with uncontrollable perverted pleasure in reading about raunchy issues because they're ashamed of going to the local porn store and buying a DVD entitled Everyday People Swallowing the Jizz.

So, my friend, Alexandria's boyfriend gave her the dreaded ultimatum: Let me screw you up the ass or I'll find someone who will! Notice his choice of words:

 

"I'll find someone who will."

This could mean he'll find a woman or a man! I personally think that is the gayest thing to say to your woman, coming from a man. If a woman doesn't want to get screwed up the ass- and I'm sure they spoke about this issue once before or while things were getting serious. If not, woman BE WARNED- she doesn't have to be screwed up the damn asshole.

 

Next thing you know, he'll be saying, "hey, babe, hold this can of beer; put on these construction boots; don't shave your legs, bend over and take it up the butt!"

To get to the point, Alexandria tried the up-the-butt thing and realized that it reminded her of taking a shit, and the pulling in and out sensation of a tampon repeatedly. She tried to hold her stomach, though her muscles were contracting like a woman ready to give birth.

She told me that while the "penal stick" was sliding out of her heavenly boo-boo bowels, she thought she was only letting his peter out. Unfortunately, she let something else out to surprise him.

Couldn't you just die laughing? Why in the hell did she tell me about this? Of course, her name has been changed to protect her identity. And though she laughed about it the next day, neither her nor her boyfriend (the butt-fucker) was laughing. Makes you say, "He got what the hell he deserved. A whole lotta' shit"