Four Little Stories

Marla never liked her thighs. She always wanted to cut them off and eat them. Why, you ask? Because she was hungry, and it sorta kinda beat carrying around huge jugs of fat!

Michael never wanted to stop smoking. He'd smoked and smoked until he realized it was killing him. Someone close to him said, "Mike, man, you're killing yourself." Michael replied, "We're all going to die soon. These cigarettes don't mean anything." "No," his friend disagreed, "you'll die sooner from cigarettes." Michael's reaction to his friends response ended in Michael lying in a pool of his own blood. When the cops asked the friend what happened, he replied, "I told him he'd die sooner smoking cigarettes and to prove me wrong, he put a bullet in his head."

Karee always had a hard time when it came to making love to her husband. She figured it was a temporary faze that she was going through. They'd been married for 3 months and still had not had sex. Well under normal circumstances that wouldn't be a problem. Except, Karee's legal name is Kevin and when she does give her husband the okay to have sex, he'll wish he gave her the money for the operation instead of that stupid car.

Danny was a quiet boy. He'd always walk home from school crying to his mother, "the kids where laughing at me. They were beating me up." Mommy said, "well, the best way to handle the situation is to talk to them. Tell me, 'I'm a big boy and you can't hurt me anymore.' That will do the trick." Danny followed his mother's advice and told the other kids to not beat him up any longer. He came that day with a black eye and busted lip. To this his mother replied, "Honey, I hate to resort to this..." She yelled up to her husband, "Arnold, bring down the shotgun!" Turning her attention to her son, she said, "now plug 'em, sweetie. Every body else is doing it."

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