O.J. Simpson and His Temper
Hey Trew Lifers,
I’m going to give you all of the information rapid fire, so I want you to pay close attention. Here goes:
All that yelling and a result of the confrontation that lead to O.J. Simpson’s arrest on robbery and other charges seem to paint another picture of who website TMZ.com calls, The Juice. At first I couldn’t believe that he had the nerve to come out with that stupid ass book. Do I believe it was a perfect way for him to make some extra dollars? Of course. Do I think it was smart? Hell naw. Now he really isn’t getting any support from his fellow “black folks.”
Okay, well screw race. Let’s get to the issue at hand:
- Were guns drawn and did Simpson and crew take stuff out of the room by threat of force? I do believe that Simpson had a right to retrieve his belongings, but not in way he did. No guns have been found, so as far as everyone is concerned, Simpson just acted a fool and got his personal items back, right?
- Is it fair that Goldman is entitled to Simpson’s Rolex?
This is just me, Trew Life, wondering why the hell O.J. Simpson’s attorney, Ronald P. Slates is offering advice on how he would have gone after his client’s money. This case is fairly bizarre, in my opinion.M
But it’s really nice that Simpson’s sister and girlfriend stopped in to the Las Vegas Detention Center last night to visit him. They had to talk to him via video, but couldn’t see him in person. Like he was going to conspire something with them. It’s not like he’s planning on pulling a Lucky Luciano move!
How do you guys feel about all this? A lot of people are saying that he is getting his just karma for what happened years ago… We don’t need to say it… He wrote a book about it… We all know…
First Impressions Can Make or Break A First Date
I was watching the news the other day, and I saw this guy on there with a jerri curl, some curlers thrown in his dew, with a gold tooth, FRONT AND CENTER, as well as a dress shirt, some tight ass jeans, and some tennis shoes. He sounded like this,
"I don’t be knowin’ what be goin’ on ‘round hurre. I be just thankin’ ‘bout we all us want get outda hood."
…..What the fuck was that? I thought to myself, why doesn’t America ever get a chance to see the African American universities. Tell me why America doesn’t get a chance to see the African American leaders within the business world. God knows I love me some Oprah, but we need more than that. When that woman retires, or if she died, what other women are put in the spotlight as much as her?
This got me to thinking about appearances. When you go out on that first date, you must make sure that the appearance you want to have for the REMAINDER OF YOUR DATING RELATIONHIP is there.
The thing about individuals is they’ll stop trusting you if you meet them for the first time, and say something like, “I can’t stand to see people riding dolphins. It just makes me so sorry for those mammals.” Then turn your ass around, and say, “You know what? I’d love to ride a dolphin. I’ve always wanted to, but I was just nervous I’d drown.” That person you’ve been dating is going to look at you, and think you LIE LIKE A PERSIAN RUG!
So that brings me back to the jerri curl wearing, gold tooth having, fucked up speech guy I mentioned in the beginning of this post. If our first glance of him was ghettofied hoodster, and then he walks in front of a television screen two days later, hair in a nice fade, no gold teeth, an Armani suit, and Salvatore Ferragamo shoes saying, “I’d like to apologize for my ignorance the other day. I didn’t see the crime unfold,” people would probably be like, “Um-huh. Whateva. He hasn’t changed overnight. He’s still a ghetto N-word.”
People hate to admit this, but first impressions are key to making or breaking a date, or a relationship. When I first started dating my girlfriend, she was so nice, polite, and everything nice. She did whatever she could to please me. Soon, she wanted to have her own mind, and thoughts, but I was used to her conforming to my every wish. This caused problems, because she completely remodeled herself, and her thought-process to mine, in order to impress me.
Make sure you remain you. First impressions are a BIG THING! Whether you like them or not.
Nothing to Write About... Maybe Rosie O'Donnell Will Suffice
*Changes camera angle, with a smile*
On to other news…
Rosie O’Donnell is raising questions about the third building which collapsed at ground zero (yes, the World Trade Center tragedy).
Rosie ain’t convinced by Mr. Corbett, or her co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who echoed the same explanation about the building. A quote from Ms. O’Donnell, from the NY Times website said, “I do believe that it’s the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel,” Ms. O’Donnell said during a show.
Excerpt:
As the fire raged for hours, it was probably fed by the emergency command center’s fuel tanks in the basement, the head of the investigation told the magazine. Under those conditions, it is possible to reach temperatures that “ultimately weakened " not melted " the steel structures,” it said, before tossing out some factoids:
Steel melts at about 2,750 degrees Fahrenheit"but it loses strength at temperatures as low as 400 F. When temperatures break 1000 degrees F, steel loses nearly 50 percent of its strength. It is unknown what temperatures were reached inside WTC7, but fires in the building raged for seven hours before the collapse.
Even though 16% of America believes Rosie O’Donnell’s theory that the attacks were a conspiracy, until the federal investigation dismisses all the conspiracy theories with its final report, should we all (100%) believe as well?
Every Dark Cloud Has A Silver Lining
I was thinking about love, relationships and life. I was thinking about why individuals kill themselves. Don't worry, I don't have that motherfuckin' thought on the brain. I believe in God, and I don't think killing myself would be in self-defense. Besides, how could I ask God to forgive me for that earthy sin if I'm not alive?
Personally, I think it's easier to give up than it is to stick it out and try to make it through. That still doesn't mean I aint depressed like a sonofabitch.
It seems like when we think something is missing from our lives, we over compensate with something else. Humans (mostly Americans) are very good at abusing something because they expect other things to totally satisfy them. When those things don't come through, the individual sucks something else of all its joy and energy, trying to make up for what they're not getting somewhere else.
I've been picking fights for no apparent reason, besides that fact that I'm mad at the world, it seems. I haven't typed more than 1000 words on my novel in the past 5 days. I feel like I'll never finish it.
Most of all, I feel like I've become a negative, dark cloud over everybody's life, because of my moodiness. But then I always make myself remember that every dark cloud has a silver lining…
Bullshit Librarian (excuse the language... on second thought, I take that b
Okay, I’m at the University of Toledo’s library and my phone rings. I pick up and quickly rush outside (into the hallway, where all us college students go) to take the call. It’s a friend of mine who is having a hard time figuring out how to spend his $$$$.
So, I’ telling him about different projects to invest in (hopefully my blogging idea involving three other writers of relationship, love, and dating issues) and one of the librarians comes out of the computer room and continuously walks around the hall where I’m standing.
I know something’s going on.
He goes in the bathroom to take a piss or a shit, I really don’t give a damn. But he comes out and says, in a very pompous voice, “Could you keep it down?”
His voice is high pitched, his lips are pursed together unnecessarily tight and his glasses hang loosely on the tip of his long, pointed nose.
His dark skin is skinning with oily extravagance and he walks like a large stick is shoved so far up his ass that it might break if he spreads his legs far apart enough to take a descent step.
I ask him, “Could you hear me in the computer room?”
“No, in there,” he says and points to the bathroom.
I stand in total shock. I can’t believe this.
Flashback
Just a year ago, this same man walked up to me, while I was in the computer lab, and asked me to stop typing so loud and quickly. Again, I asked him why. He told me that it was annoying to hear me typing so loud. When I didn’t completely stop typing loud (or just typing for that matter), he called someone on the phone, and asked for security to escort me out! The guy on the phone had to have told him it was nothing (in other words, get a life BIATCH and do your damn job).
Present Day
Just before I’m about to speak, he turns around and says, “Thank you.” He sings the shit, holds out the word “thank” really long. Gosh, I could have kicked him in his skinny neck.
I felt the blood flowing through my veins. I was so heated. The word vomit (© Mean Girls) was rising in my throat, and no matter how hard I tried, my emotions came shooting to the surface.
“You were really rude when you said that,” I blurted out. He stopped by the elevator, hands on his hips as he slowly began to walk my way.
“Excuse me?”
“You were very nasty when you said that,” I said.
“I was rude? Was I not polite?”
“You were polite, but you were also pompous.”
“Maybe it’s because you asked me if I could hear you inside of the computer room, but I could hear you in the bathroom,” he hisses, walking closer. And he should know better than to walk up on another man (especially, a black man).
“I didn’t realize you could get bothered by my conversation while you pushed logs out of your tight ass!” I couldn’t control myself. I was unleashing the next Hiroshima.
“I left the computer room, because you, and a group of other students, were in there. I come out here, and you tell me to be quite because you can hear me in the bathroom?”
“It’s annoying…”
Annoying. Did he just say the word annoying? We’ve been through this before, I thought.
“I don’t care if it’s annoying. If you wanted me to keep it down, because I might disturb other people on the floor, I would have respected that, but you coming up to me with that snotty ass attitude and cutting me off with a phony polite disposition was rude and A HUGE turn-off.”
“Well, I’m sorry,” he said. “I just think that you are talking too loud.”
The individual who I was on the phone with said, “You were talking kinda’ loud, Terry.”
Click.
I said goodbye and ended the convo quickly, before I lashed out at him as well.
When I looked back up to drill into the stick-up-his-ass guy, he was boarding the elevator.
I looked around, made sure that I wasn’t disturbing anyone. Hell, the only room on the floor is the computer lab. The guy was just being a prick. So, I walked inside of the computer room and asked the librarian if she heard me in the hall way. She said, “Not at all, it’s been quiet all day.”
Typical.
I Kicked A Woman In the Bagina!
But seeing these women isn't particularly beautiful, and bad (in that oh, so good way) when they aren't in movie form. I promise you, if you see a 4 foot 11 Asian woman screaming at you with a samurai sword, you'd piss your pants and buck her ass like a deer around a high-pitched voice, annoying, big breasted ditzy blonde.
Not to get on any racial topics (but then I keep going into it...), but the women at the local China Buffet scare me when they say hello. I walk in there and that Eastern music is so soft and sweet. I become tranquil, if only for a moment, until--
"SINGAWL TAAABOWL!!" comes shrieking at me in an ultra high pitch. This is usually how they try and ask you if you want a single table. My instincts cause me to want to punch 'em in the face. Don't ask me why. When someone scares an American, they back up and ball up their fist. Of course, when their conscience mind kicks in they don't strike, but the subconscious mind says, "I'ma whoop yo ass! Who the hell are you yellin' at?!"
So when I saw this Asian woman at the local flee market hold up a sword, smile and start swinging in my direction- in playfullness, of course- I...
*Just say it, Terry. They won't judge you*
I tried to kick her in the Bagina. I call her vagina a bagina, because she had balls of steel to run up on a black man with a sword and not expect to get pimp smacked.
I'm guessing she's healing, and I experienced my very first movie adventure. Like my friend says, "Life is a movie. Make it a blockbuster."
Power of the Penis
It's amazing the amount of power that dick has on the world. This has always happened in through human existence. Though a guy can beat the hell out of a woman, the fact remains: Women think and feel more than men.Question
Would America rise higher in power if a woman ran the show?
So this post leads me to the time I went to Barnes and Noble in order to plan out my upcoming posts for Trew Life Advice before my deadline. A waiter approached me, smiled and said, "You want my sausage?"
"Excuse me?" I snapped back. He repeated his self, laughed uncontrollably and left. To keep from performing the clichéd heterosexual action of trying to beat his ass, I continued to work and sip my coffee in peace. But oh, no, he had to keep walking pass me saying, "You want my sausage?"
Finally I stood and screamed, "SEXUAL HARASSMENT!" Well, that an embellishment. I actually told his manager about the disrespectful and unprofessional behavior of her co-worker.
"I'm sorry, but I don't believe you," she said. Her tight ass mouth was pursed so tight it looked like a red asshole. "Lot's of people try to sue B and N (that's what she said, B and N, like their asses wouldn't fire her if she slipped up. I hate when people defend corporations to the death and they're just a worker... Inessential, unsophisticated, and neurotic worker at that) or complain about something stupid. I make it a point to protect my staff."
And with that said, she walked away with him. I continued to work on my posts, trying to forget about the entire incident, until I glanced up and noticed her lightly grope the waiter's ass behind the food counter.
My mouth hung wide open like one of those clowns at the fair who's mouth you shoot with water to inflate the balloon on it's head. I couldn't believe what I'd just seen.
I thought to myself, yeah, we know which staff she's really trying to protect. Typical. That's the power of the P.
Re:
Dear Trew Life,I want to make money from my blog and I haven't been havn the best of luck with it. The reason why im writing you is because this is causing some serious problems with me and my boyfriend. We been living together for about 6 months and I lost my job. I want to just blog full-time, and i think he is mad at me because I wont get a job and bills are due. We've been struggling for a few months now, and I'd like to know what I should do.
Kee-Kee
____________________________________________________________
Dear Kee-Kee,
The first thing I must tell you is: GET A JOB! I know you don't want to hear that but I must blurt it out to you.
It takes time before you start receiving tons of traffic to your blog or website. It's not an easy thing to wait on. And you'll be slitting your wrists once the bills are behind, you boyfriend is steaming, and you can't do anything but blog about it.
example:
"Dear Blogophere,
My relationship is shattered. I'm in debt to my forehead, but HEY, I'm bloggin' full-time now!"
My blog might not be as popular as Darren Rowse's (www.problogger.net), or as complex as Steve Pavlina's website (www.stevepavlina.com), but I do know that it will take some time. It took me almost two years to start seeing traffic at one of my blogs. I then changed the website that hosts my blog and had to start fresh.
I can relate to you, because I'm generating more traffic as well, and from the things I've learned, I was able to generate more traffic quicker, but it still is going to take some time.
Try signing up at websites like:
These are just a few I've named. There are all types of ways to generate more traffic to your blog. One big way is by visiting other's blogs. Enjoy reading as much as you enjoy making money, and you'll see some change.
As far as your boyfriend goes, I can understand why he's mad at you, and he has a reason to be. About a year ago, I did the same thing you're doing now. It almost caused my girlfriend and I to break up. We were kicked out of our home and I had to... Wait... Say it with me... "GET A JOB!"
Why Hate Yourself?
I wouldn't like to sound cocky when I say, "I know I'm the shit! I'm all that and a bag of chips! I'm the cat's meow!" You get the picture. I would rather feel good about myself then keep downing who I am. We already have enough doom and bullshit promised to us on this earth, why make more of it?
Love who you are, and feel great about yourself without thinking you are GOD.
This message was brought to you by TD.GAD.AY!
Black Snake Moan vs. The # 23. Which One?
As a professional writer I must write my fucking ass off just to make a decent amount of money. Yet the insatiable desire to experience the movie-going reeving effect causes me to totally empty my pockets, sit in a theater chair directly in the middle of the screen (I will literally switch seats until I'm in the middle. Trust!), and forget about my financial woes.
I eagerly waited the arrival of the movie The Number 23, starring Jim Carrey. I figured it would be some dark, psychological thriller that pulsates with true and accurately proven data. But when I read the reviews, I was sadly mistaken. The critics said, "It had about 23 holes in the plot that needed to be filled."
I immediately read the reviews for Black Snake Moan, which seems like a confusion of genre, the nucleus: wonderful down South blues, and a sexily-clad Christina Ricci. All of the critics agreed that the movie was interesting to watch, but those wrongly timed giggles seemed to cause Black Snake to mock itself.
So what do you do? Do you take a chance, spend your hard earned money on an expensive and wack ass movie (plus the cost of popcorn, nachos, pop, and candy... I'm a greedy pig, I'll admit it), or do you stay at home and not live because of another person's opinion?
Hell, the critics thought The Long Kiss Goodnight was a beer-drinking-macho-explosion-guy's type of movie, and I thought it was great. Well, I am a guy...
So when it comes down to my expedition to the movie theater in order to empty my pockets and be taken away from Toledo, Ohio, which one of these movies will deliver? Will it be 23 holes of questionable plot and corny endings, or a unique sophomore critical flop from Hustle and Flow director, Craig Brewer? What is a perfectionist to do?
So Many Dumb Rules/SexLoveExams
Ladies, you’re not excluded. You’ll meet a guy and have on a $200 dollar purse, and less than $10 dollars to put inside of it, yet you’re screaming that a man has to make money and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. In my experience, it’s a couple’s job- if the relationship ever gets to marriage- to work as a team. Some men still follow the barbaric, “I Work, You Clean” tradition, but that was when women didn’t have as many career choices as men did. Now that women are becoming more doctors, lawyers and POSSIBLE FUTURE PRESIDENTS, do you think I’ll spend $100 dollars on a meal each time I go out on a date and this woman is probably counting more Benjamin Franklins than I am?
Now don’t get me confused with a guy who wants to be supported by a woman. For the sake of romance, I’d pay for the first date, and maybe the second. But if thoughts pop up into our heads about having a relationship, I want her to pull out her pocket book. You want to know why? Because I need to start finding out if we’re financially compatible. If we fall on hard times, can we pull together as a team and work through it? But that’s going way further than the first date, isn’t it?
The truth of the matter is: there are rules that must be obeyed. But at the same time, you were asked to go out on a date because you are a human being, not a robot. And this is real life, not an exam- well I guess it is slightly an exam. But I’d hate for a female to give me an image of a perfect gal and it’s false. She’d tell me, a week later, “Oh, I really am a homicidal maniac who’s a man. Well, I’m actually a horse… Actually, I’m a broom. I just wanted to pass the first date exam.”
Related Topics
Women, I Hate To Be Rude...
Who Loves You, Baby?
Re: I think he has something
I’m dating this guy who I think might have some disease, and I don’t want to have sex with him yet. But we’ve been dating for three weeks and we both are ready. How would I know if he has AIDS or not?
Diva321
______________________________________________
Hey Diva321,
That is a serious question, along with a very serious topic. The only thing I can say is both of you need to go to your local health clinic and get tested together. If you guys are serious then this should be done. Considering the times we live in, it’s best to take these precautions even when having casual sex.
Condoms offer protection against some venereal diseases. They are less effective against herpes, venereal warts, and chlamydia, which are small enough to pass through the pores of the condom. If either partner has an active urethral infection or genital lesion, the only safe course is sexual abstinence. It’s sad, but it’s the truth.
-Trew Life
Technorati tags: advice, life, relationships, sex
Trew Life Advice
LRL.com
E-Mail Advice-
Dear Poetiq,
I have been reading your blog for a while. I hadn’t seen many E-mail Advice posts, and I was nervous about sending you an e-mail about my problems. I don’t even know if this will be published, and even if it’s not published, I hope that you can take the time out to answer my concerns. I am having trouble understanding why I’ve given up in my life. I tried to make my marriage work. My problems are not as lewd and outrageous as the other people’s problems who’ve wrote you, but I just want my husband back. One week I want to make it work, the next week I feel like giving up. He’s moved out of the house and I haven’t seen him in a week. We have been trying to get pregnant and I really want things to work out. I am 36 years old. I shouldn’t have to go through this. Please help me.
Erika J.
----------------------------------------------------
Dear Erika,
Thanks a lot for the kind words about Love, Relationships and Life. Yes, I still receive e-mail questions. I have not posted a lot because I wanted to wait until the new blog design was up.
Beyond the lights, glamour and money, most stars live very stressful, and sometimes depressing lives. It’s true. And you know what’s worse than stars who are stressed or depressed, stars who feel this way when they don’t really love what they are doing for a living. The same goes with you, Erika. Be real for a second here. If you ever have to question whether you want to be in the relationship or not, then you shouldn’t be there. And the fact that you are being hurt and a part of you is saying, “leave,” doesn’t make the situation any better.
I understand that you want your husband to be by your side, but you said best yourself: “One week I want to work it out, the next week I feel like giving up.” You want to know why you feel this way? It’s because deep down inside you’d rather give up on the marriage. Oh, yes. Who gets married to feel that type of pain? Yet, when you think about your age and the fact that you haven’t had a child, you choose to stay. Then other questions must facture into the equation: How many friends and family are constantly in your relationship; have you been telling lots of people that you’ll be pregnant soon; and do you expect your husband to change?
Please, write me back telling me how long these problems have been happening, how long you’ve been trying to get pregnant, and how long the two of you have been married. I look forward to hearing from you, Erika
So Many Damn Rules When It Comes To Dating
What’s up with these dating rules? There are so many rules that come along with a damn date that it all becomes ridiculous. Remember when a date used to be fun? Of course, we’ve all had our share of bad dates. You met a guy who looks great, is tall, handsome, mature and focused… Well that’s how it appears, because this guy actually sells socks online and only makes about $5.00 a week. God forbid you live in an expensive city like New York. How the hell is this type of guy paying his rent?
Ladies, you’re not excluded. You’ll meet a guy and have on a $200 dollar purse, and less than $10 dollars to put inside of it, yet you’re screaming that a man has to make money and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. In my experience, it’s a couple’s job- if the relationship ever gets to marriage- to work as a team. Some men still follow the barbaric, “I Work, You Clean” tradition, but that was when women didn’t have as many career choices as men did. Now that women are becoming more doctors, lawyers and POSSIBLE FUTURE PRESIDENTS, do you think I’ll spend $100 dollars on a meal each time I go out on a date and this woman is probably counting more Benjamin Franklins than I am?
Now don’t get me confused with a guy who wants to be supported by a woman. For the sake of romance, I’d pay for the first date, and maybe the second. But if thoughts pop up into our heads about having a relationship, I want her to pull out her pocket book. You want to know why? Because I need to start finding out if we’re financially compatible. If we fall on hard times, can we pull together as a team and work through it? But that’s going way further than the first date, isn’t it?
The truth of the matter is: there are rules that must be obeyed. But at the same time, you were asked to go out on a date because you are a human being, not a robot. And this is real life, not an exam- well I guess it is slightly an exam. But I’d hate for a female to give me an image of a perfect gal and it’s false. She’d tell me, a week later, “Oh, I really am a homicidal maniac. I just wanted to pass the first date exam.”
Happy New Year!
We all welcome in the New Year with a smile and a joyous attitude. We set New Year resolutions and strive for success in our future. Is the New Year a motivational tool? Yes. But it’s funny how many individuals never achieve the goals they set for the New Year. It’s amazing how many people start things in the New Year like trying to stop smoking; loose weight; be neater; or get better grades in school, but it never fully goals through.
What other ways can we motivate ourselves to get our asses up and take care of business? If you want to start your own business, if you want to find love, or if you want to loose the fat, is it safe to say, “Just do it!”? I think so. So happy New Year, and try to work harder and enjoy the new adventures you’ll experience when entering into the later half of this decade.
E-mail Advice- "He wont apologize"
I broke up with my boyfriend to test whether he would make up with me and apologize for staring at this one woman at this benefit we went to. The only problem is he has not called me in four days and I feel he might have moved on. What can I do to get him to call me and apologize.
Pissed off woman
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Pissed Off Woman,
It is extremely insane for you to believe that your boyfriend- not husband- will apologize to you because he stared at a woman during a benefit show. I understand that some couples are a tad jealous- Hell, I am very over protective of my girlfriend- but he didn’t have sex with this woman (as far as you know, but that could be the case with any woman he looks or any man you look at).
If I were he, I wouldn’t apologize to you either. And if you broke up with him because of something so silly and unimportant, maybe you two shouldn’t be together. You should be with someone who feels like he is prison. I don’t condone cheating what so ever, but I’d rather my girl looked at another man rather than tried to screw him. Be happy that he is just looking and not touching. If you want him back, call him up and tell him you’re sorry. If your pride is too strong to do that then start looking for another man.
Would You Take It Up The Butt And Crap On It? LOL
WARNING: If I offend, please remain entertained in the process. Thank you!
What the hell do you do, ladies, when your man asks you to take it up the butt, and the one time you decide to do it, you crap on his "magic stick" a little bit? Do you run out of the room screaming, or do you politely wipe it up, Emily Post polite style, and keep going? In the event his penis has gone completely limp, do you get offended?
Well this happened to a friend of mine. Now, I know a lot of you must be asking yourselves, how can Terry talk about Warren Buffet and Truman Capote in one blog post, then talk about girls taking it up the anus on another? This is because I damn well can and I enjoy watching people squirm with uncomfortable disgust as well as smile with uncontrollable perverted pleasure in reading about raunchy issues because they're ashamed of going to the local porn store and buying a DVD entitled Everyday People Swallowing the Jizz.
So, my friend, Alexandria's boyfriend gave her the dreaded ultimatum: Let me screw you up the ass or I'll find someone who will! Notice his choice of words:
"I'll find someone who will."
This could mean he'll find a woman or a man! I personally think that is the gayest thing to say to your woman, coming from a man. If a woman doesn't want to get screwed up the ass- and I'm sure they spoke about this issue once before or while things were getting serious. If not, woman BE WARNED- she doesn't have to be screwed up the damn asshole.
Next thing you know, he'll be saying, "hey, babe, hold this can of beer; put on these construction boots; don't shave your legs, bend over and take it up the butt!"
To get to the point, Alexandria tried the up-the-butt thing and realized that it reminded her of taking a shit, and the pulling in and out sensation of a tampon repeatedly. She tried to hold her stomach, though her muscles were contracting like a woman ready to give birth.
She told me that while the "penal stick" was sliding out of her heavenly boo-boo bowels, she thought she was only letting his peter out. Unfortunately, she let something else out to surprise him.
Couldn't you just die laughing? Why in the hell did she tell me about this? Of course, her name has been changed to protect her identity. And though she laughed about it the next day, neither her nor her boyfriend (the butt-fucker) was laughing. Makes you say, "He got what the hell he deserved. A whole lotta' shit"
Can You Prostitute Your Heart?
If I were a prostitute, I sometimes wonder how much I’d charge. Would I make just enough to get my daily fix of blow, crack, heroine or liquor? Would I be a classy hoe and charge upwards of $500 per night?
Let’s do the math
If I charged $500 dollars per night and I slept with six guys that night, I’ll have made $3,000 in one night! Of course, I’d need regulars and they wouldn’t come back every night spending that type of money unless they had some major dough. Well, I’d know my pooh-pooh was fantastic, so I’d make the guy come back more than once a week.
Okay, so we have $3,000 a night so far. Let’s take $1,000 off of each night the next four days, because the regulars aren’t getting into my captivating tunnel of joy. I’ve still made $1,500 dollars a night, times four nights, which gives me a total of $6,000 for those days. Add my regulars back on for Saturday and Sunday and I’ve made $6,000 dollars for those two nights. Now, if we add together all the nights, I’ve made a total of $15,000 in a week! Talk about easy money.
But when it comes to matters of the heart, I feel we can’t be promiscuous with it, just like we morally can’t be hoes with our bodies. If you think about it, multiple relationships in a real can lead to great sex, good kisses, fun times, money (if you’re a gold digger), and slight bliss, yet when your heart is laid on the line, it doesn’t seem like much fun. Just like I’m sure laying your cooch or Johnson on the line isn’t fun either.
So why can men prostitute their emotions for momentary sexual bliss? It’s because their heart’s not in from the jump. Yes, ladies you’ve been fooled. Most men go into a relationship with physical qualities analyzed and they are in hunting mode. Lots of women go into relationships with an open heart. They start off vulnerable and ready to commit. This is the reason why most men can go through relationship after relationship without being burned, while women come out on the other end with third degree burns.
The Question
If we could prostitute our hearts like we do our bodies, would it be worth the moral scarring? After a while, would your heart fall for the women or man you are emotionally screwing? And if you successfully prostitute a million dollars worth of lessons, sex, good times and money, in the end, is it valuable enough?
Irony Overly Perceptible 'Cuz of Dumb Ass Choices
Some people make the dumbest decisions (myself included). I’ve never known why DUMBFUCK (a low-life cashier for McDonalds who’s working part-time and living off of his girl) would, for example, choose to screw around with Carla while his girlfriend, BEAT A BITCH DOWN is on her lunch break. Of course, this guy chooses to do this shit at his own apartment or home, knowing that BEAT A BITCH DOWN has a key.
Are these common mistakes? No, they are careless mishaps or idiotic mistakes. These all comes down to finding out the right choices to make and the right times to make them.
A lot of people don’t realize that- in regards to their goals- they have a path to follow. This path goes straight, yet there are always detours in the road (a pitchfork type of look). These detours teach you something, but they still keep your growth towards reaching the goals at the end of the road stagnant.
Yes, sometimes the disappointment and fear of failing is palpable, but we have jump in there and go at it. When I was younger I would be afraid to ask my family for food when I was starving at home. I wanted so badly to receive that slow yes instead of that fast no that I was terrified. Keep in mind, people that I’m using the word TERRIFIED. I used it to describe my exact emotion, not to over-exaggerate.
So we must ponder the consequences to the actions in which DUMBFUCK caused. Because of his ill-thought decisions, BEAT A BICTH DOWN broke up with him and married a doctor will benefits (Thank you, God. BLUE CROSS, BLUE SHIELD). If he wouldn’t have tripped up and got caught, BEAT A BITCH DOWN wouldn’t have found a guy who loves her and financially treats her well. Irony to the fullest extent, huh?
A Bitch's Gospel, Explained
Every great writer who speaks about writing says, “Just continue typing. The first draft should be from your heart and the second draft should be from your brain.”
I think about this and say to myself, why the hell isn’t that advice working? I mean, I’ll sit and stare at my computer screen and it will take me damn near 20 minutes to write three paragraphs. I guess it’s nice that I get something done anyway, but none the less, I’m still feeling stagnated.
My book, A Bitch’s Gospel is about two women who are brought the most unconventional “angel” from God. This woman is Zinaye Aston. She is smart, gorgeous and dangerously scandalous. While running from police, drug lords and prostitutes, the two women learn the gospel of Zinaye. Of course, you must read the novel in order to find out what Zinaye’s Gospel is.
Thanksgiving is going to be here in a couple of hours and I am so excited to be asleep. I want rest for a long time and not see anyone until tomorrow when I ravish people’s kitchens, forks in hand, ready to stuff myself like the turkey on the table.
Again, I must say, “HAPPY THANKSGIVING!”
